How the Church Can Better Love the LGBTQ+ Community

In light of Pride month, an important question has been posed: how do we, as Christians, love the LGBTQ+ community the way the Bible tells us to? How can Christians love with the same persistence and compassion as Jesus did?

When God asked me to write this post, I felt more than inadequate. However, for nearly all of my middle school and high school years, I was a part of this community. I know what it is like to be attracted to the same gender, and I also know what it's like to hide my feelings, relationship, and lifestyle away from the world. I searched all around to find love and acceptance. I found it in this community's arms for years.

When I was 17, God revealed to me what Jesus' love and acceptance looked like. He received me like the prodigal son, as I came running home. The Church, however, did not. (When I talk about the Church, I am talking about the Church as a whole, not my church.) I hid my story. I felt so small. The stigma that comes with being gay is often met in one of two ways: praise and confirmation, or shame and condemnation. I realized the LGBTQ+ community was cheering me on and showing me love, while many in the Church were turning their noses up at me and condemning me to hell. I knew I couldn't be the only one feeling this way.

Thankfully, there were people along the way that didn't treat me the way the Church, as a whole, had. Several friends of mine showed me what Christ-like, biblical love looked like. These people fit into the third category who love like Jesus. And, because of them, I was able to accept it and experience healing. I got to live life by God's design and understand Truth as it has been established. As Jesus is the "Way, the Truth, and the Life" Himself, humans don't really get a say in the truth (John 14:6). There is no argument. There is no truth we define. What Jesus declares is truth, whether we accept it or not.

But, it wasn't being talked about. Hardly anyone was brave enough to speak a testimony of being freed from homosexuality because the world would crucify you for being a bigot, and a lot of the Church would make you feel like you were weird and alien for ever falling into the temptation. Something had to give. Something still has to give. We, as the Church, have to better love the LGBTQ+ community.

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5 Ways the Church Can Love the LGBTQ+ Community Better

1. Meet Everyone with Jesus' Love and Acceptance.

Truthfully, right now, we, the Church, are lousing it up. I mean it. We go one extreme or the other. While some of us in that third category are loving like Jesus, the other two are either so loving that they accept and condone a lifestyle that Paul lumps in with thieves, idolaters, and adulterers (1 Corinthians 6:9-10), or screaming, "Turn or burn!" at them. It's appalling to me. Most of us have no idea how to love people who may sin differently than us, but sin all the same, as we do.

The best thing we can do is love the way Jesus did. If we examine Jesus' encounter with the woman who is about to be stoned, we can begin to understand how the Church should love the LGBTQ+ community. In John 8, Jesus was preaching at the Temple. The Pharisees brought in a woman caught in the middle of the act of adultery. The law demanded for everyone in the crowd to stone her, but Jesus declared, "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her,” (John 8:7). No one could do that. So, everyone left. Jesus looked at her and asked where her accusers went and if even one of them condemned her. She answered, "No, Lord," of course, and Jesus said, "Neither do I. Go and sin no more" (John 8:11).

Notice the love and compassion He showed her. He could've rightfully had her stoned as the law decreed. If He had done that, He would've been doing the same thing "Turn or Burn" screamers do. If He had just told everyone who had never sinned to cast stones, asked her if her accusers were around anymore, and had just sent her on her way without telling her to repent, He would be doing the same thing that Christians who condone sins do. Instead, He showed love and compassion and called her to repentance. He loved her in her sin (and even called it sin) and then told her to leave that lifestyle.

2. Don't Be Afraid to Call Sin, Sin.

We don't want to hurt people's feelings or scare them away. I am extremely anti-confrontational, and the last thing I want to do is tell someone they are living a lifestyle of sin. But, the Bible declares that the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). This includes all kinds of sin, from lying to homosexuality. People in the church may have friends or family who are part of the LGBTQ+ community. I do. In fact, I was one of them! But, since I was bound for death because I didn't know Jesus, I'm sure glad someone told me.

Wait, bound for death? Yep. That's for all sinners. Not just people who may be trans or in a relationship with the same sex. Liars, alcoholics, idolaters, prideful people, adulterers are bound for the very same fate. Get this: the only reason being gay would send someone to hell is because it is sin, and God can't be around sin. The same is true for little Sally who told a white lie. Sin separates us from God, and if we don't repent and believe Jesus is who He says He is, then we are in danger of spending eternity in hell.

You might not like that. I know I didn't because my flesh inherently loves and enjoys sin. To call anything I like sin is insulting, especially if I've based my entire identity around it. Why do you think the LGBTQ+ community has so much disdain for the Church? Because we promote the Gospel that causes so much division it led Christ to the cross and thousands of others to martyrdom. But, Jesus died for every single one of us, not looking at any sin differently. We must call sin what it is, but show that there is hope in Jesus for all.

3. Abandon the Desire to Convert Them to Heterosexuality.

A common mistake the Church makes is standing behind the "Heterosexual Gospel". What I mean by that is: we think people have to be converted to straightness. I think even people from the LGBTQ+ community probably have turned away from the Gospel because Christians are trying to make them straight. But, if "turning" a gay person straight is your prerogative, you're missing the point of the Gospel.

Nowhere in the Bible does it say convert people to heterosexuality. You know what it does say? "If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved" (Romans 10: 9-10). Here's what I'm getting at: our end goal is not to convert the LGBTQ+ community to heterosexuality. Our end goal is to convert them to Christianity, so they can experience a saving relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. There are plenty of heterosexuals who are going to bust hell wide open if they reject Christ. Sexual preference, then, takes a back seat to salvation, as all things should.

That being said, when you do have a relationship with Jesus, you are then "cleansed", "made holy", and "made right with God by calling on the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (1 Corinthians 6:11). This means we start looking more like Him and living the lifestyle He has called us to. This may lead to heterosexuality or celibacy. Either way, knowing Christ fully will create heart and life change. It will instill in us a desire to please God. Knowing that no sin pleases God and separates us from Him (homosexuality, lying, cheating, stealing, etc.) will allow us to choose to live lives without sin. This may lead to experiencing marriage as God designed back in the Garden of Eden, or choosing to abstain from any kind of sexual relationship as Paul encouraged (1 Corinthians 7:8).

4. Talk About the LGBTQ+ Community in Church and Provide Them with Support.

One thing the Church often does is steer clear of difficult topics. Many churches don't want to discuss sex, its design, and God's original, perfect purpose for it. Considering that, even more likely to not be discussed is the LGBTQ+ community other than the occasional reminder to the congregation that those people are dirty and wrong. Imagine being a closeted girl, like me at age 15. Imagine sitting in a congregation and thinking, "what's wrong with me? Why am I this way? Why do I like girls even though I know I shouldn't?" Curious why your church is losing gay/trans youth to the world? That, my friends, is exactly why.

We now live in a world that is accepting to LGBTQ+ people. They're coming out in droves because they're finding the love and acceptance they've been seeking for years, like I was. Why aren't they coming to our churches? Why do they feel unsafe in our sanctuaries? Because we alienate them and don't explain what God's loving design is for their lives. We don't meet them where they're at. We don't teach them how God defines love or show them how to combat the lies of the world. All we do is tell them it's wrong and that how they feel is wrong. No wonder the enemy is stealing away precious souls; we, the Church, aren't doing what God has asked us to!

That doesn't mean we condone it. That doesn't mean we encourage them to live that lifestyle. That does mean that we have outspoken Christians who have walked those paths stand up and talk about it. Do you know how many women, that when I have shared my story, have told me they have struggled with it too? If you are a Christian who has been redeemed and set free from bondage and you aren't talking about this sin and struggle, you need to be. There are people who are dying without Jesus, searching for something to fill the emptiness. If you've even had the slightest thought about same-sex attraction, speak up. There are little girls and boys in our congregations, homes, and world that are being driven into the arms of a community that promises them love because we refuse to offer it to them and are too afraid of judgment to speak up about our own struggles.

So, we speak up. We show them they aren't aliens and that they're just like us. We show them that every thought, temptation, and inclination comes from a fleshly desire to sin. We have classes and lessons that teach our congregations how to speak to the LGBTQ+ community in love. We take the LGBTQ+ community by the hand and show them what real love looks like; WHO real love looks like, and we tell/show them how to go and sin no more. We continue to walk alongside those struggling with same-sex attraction, and we wield them with the tools they need to combat the enemy's tactics. It's time for the Church to STAND UP and take action.

5. Be Patient and Sympathetic, Even When You Don't Understand.

You may be thinking, well, Emily, I've never been attracted to anyone of the same sex. I never considered changing my gender. I don't really understand the appeal or the urge. To these Christians, I tell you to be patient and sympathetic. I tell you to be kind and loving as Jesus was. Did Jesus ever fall into temptation and sin? No. But, that doesn't mean He isn't patient and sympathetic to us.

As someone who struggled with same-sex attraction, I don't understand the appeal of being an alcoholic or a drug addict, but you might. I don't get why someone would want to rob someone or kill them. But you know what? It's not my place to condemn those people. And Jesus died for them and their sins just like He did for mine. I don't have to understand to love. I don't have to have the same urges and desires to be sympathetic, patient, and kind. It's my job to come alongside all who are hurting and falling prey to sin.

None of us are righteous. We should all be sympathetic towards each other because we all sin. We can look at each other's struggles and say, "I don't understand, but I'm willing to try to. I don't get it, but I'll pray for you, listen to you, and walk beside you." We'll get through this together when we stop casting stones and start extending love and kindness like Jesus. We may even start winning more people to Jesus when we start selflessly giving ourselves in service to encourage and lift each other up in this hard life and cold world.

The LGBTQ+ community needs the love of Jesus just like me, you, and every sinner does. Let's stop pretending we're self-righteous and know all the answers. Let's start taking up our crosses and denying ourselves side by side with different stories and testimonies. Let's start being the Church that is the true bride of Christ: loving by calling to repentance so everyone can experience real freedom and life.